Application Essay before working with My Great College Essay (names have been eliminated to conceal the writer’s identity)

Essay after Working with My Great College Essay

My interest in medicine all began at a young age when a driving force imbedded into my DNA was revealed. I knew I wanted to become a physician, and since then, have realized the motivation as well as the determination it will take to achieve such a lofty goal -- four years of dedicated pre-med plus five or more years of challenging medical school and serious residencies and internships. I have devoted hundreds of hours in service to my church as well as to clinical hours at the (name of surgery center), hoping to change valuable lives, and make a difference in the community in which I live. I have known that I have wanted to become a physician since I was very young, but I didn’t fully recognize what that meant until I was able to actually work in a hospital and commit many hours of research in the (name of lab) Before my experiences, I believed that becoming a physician meant saving valuable lives but I now know that it means making a difference in the world whether it be through community service and volunteer hours, or through research and medical practices.

With my heart racing and my palms sweating, I stood at the front of the stage at (name of church) on my first day as a Prayer Team volunteer. “Please,” I prayed, “Don’t let anyone ask me for help.” What if I said or did the wrong thing? Just when I thought I might escape without being approached, a woman made eye contact with me, asking for prayer. I took a deep breath and asked her to tell me what was going on. She spoke about her struggles with cancer and the pain of having her children removed from her home. As she shared her sorrows with me, I noticed that my nervousness was gone and my thoughts were centered on helping her. I began to pray for her and, although I couldn’t do anything concrete to alleviate her troubles, I felt that she was deriving comfort from my words. At that moment, I realized that listening and words of comfort can be as effective as taking action.

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